Episode 1

The camera faded in on Chris, relaxing on a beach chair. "Welcome, viewers from around the world!", Chris said proudly. "I'm Chris McLean, back for another season of Total Drama. This season, we're taking place at an old, worn out war zone. And to top it all off, we're introducing sixteen new contestants for a whole new game, featuring some off the chart challenges! The rules remain the same; a group of teens live together where they will be placed on two separate team and fight for one million dollars. And of course, at the end of each episode, someone's gonna be escorted out of here, Chris McLean style. So let's introduce our new cast, who should be arriving shortly." A speeding bus passed by Chris, crashing into a large rock. "I can already tell I'm gonna love this season," Chris said with a chuckle. A female emerged from the bus. "Couldn't we have taken a safer ride? That one made my personality hurt," Angie said cluelessly. "Angie, what's going on?", Chris asked. "Is this where were going to live? Where are the bunk beds and crescent lights?", Angie said, scratching her head. "Haven't you ever seen this show before? I've only told the truth like, twice," Chris said, raising an eyebrow. "And that's fluorescent, by the way," Joshua said, exiting the bus. "Joshua, 'sup?", Chris said, offering a high five. "'Sup? Well, there are a lot of things that are 'sup. Global warming continues eating at the world. There are only five kinds of monkey that still remain active on this world. Lady BlaBla continues to butcher music," Joshua said in an arrogant tone. "I would've preferred if you didn't answer me," Chris said, putting his hand down. "This would be great for my thesis on world issues," Arthur said, writing something down on a notepad. "You know, this isn't a poetry slam, this is Total Drama," Chris said in a harsh tone. "Why would you accept him if you weren't prepared to leave him enable on your television show?", Joshua said, questioning Chris. "Now I'm regretting accepting you," Chris said, shoving Joshua aside. A blonde female emerged from the bus next, wearing short jeans, a cut-off shirt, and high heels. "Welcome to the show, Chastity," Chris said, hugging Chastity. "Hands off the figure," Chastity said, slapping at Chris. "I love it when they play hard to get," Chris whispered to the camera. "I knew I shouldn't have let you sit next to me, you spilled nail polish all over my shirt!", Ann said to someone off screen. "Who's she talking to?" Angie said, pondering. "Everything's gotta be a question with you, doesn't it?" Chris said, annoyed. "I was talking to Alice, she never minds her own business," Ann said angrily. "Who's Alice?" Angie asked. "My annoying twin sister," Ann responded. "As far as I'm concerned, there's only gonna be sixteen contestants this season, so anyone brought out here without an invitation is hitchhiking home," Chris said. A female with a large frown on her face emerged from the bus. "Why did I have to ride that stupid bus? I was going to ride daddy's private blimp, but no, I'm stuck riding this crappy school bus with a bunch of weird, obnoxious, loud, stupid, nerdy, brainy, ugly-" Chelsea said before being cut off by Chastity. "Honey, we don't want you here either," Chastity said, filing her nails. "Excuse me? I could easily get my parents to pay Chris to eliminate you. Is that want you want? Hm?" Chelsea said, poking at Chastity. "And I could easily pull your hair out, but only time will tell how I can take you down in my own way," Chastity said, walking off. A contestant exited the bus wearing face paint and a purple suit. "Well, look what we have here. My new "chums" for the next few weeks. Do you know what my father told me when I said I wasn't getting along with the kids at school? He told me to try to have fun with them. And boy, that week I sure had a load of fun," Jack said with an evil grin. "... Okay," Chris said, walking slowly away from Jack. A contestant then walked off the bus, with his hands in his pockets. "Everyone, meet Steve," Chris said, introducing Steve. "Eh," Steve said, shrugging and walking past Chris. "Well, then," Chris said, glaring. "Hey, it's so great to be here!", Haley said, putting her arm around Ann and Angie. "Can't wait to hang out with you guys for the next seven weeks!" "Remind me why I picked you again," Chris said, disgusted with Haley's behavior. A female with ribbons, a cheerleader outfit, and pom poms exited the bus. "T-O-T-A-L, do those letters ring a bell? It's D-R-A-M-A, Rebecca's pumped, and here to stay!", Rebecca said with a cheer. "I'm really starting to consider looking over these audition tapes," Chris said, shaking his head. Another contestant then exited the bus. "Hi, I'm Haley, I can't wait to hang out with you this summer!" Haley said, holding her hand out for a handshake. "I'm fine by myself, thank you every much," Maverick said with an unenthusiastic grin. "Isn't Maverick just a bundle of joy?" Chris said, turning to the camera. The next contestant walked out, holding a walkie talkie close by. "Location secured; I've entered the area. There are several life forms surrounding me. There are also several technical machines taking up area. Everything seems in order," Milo said in to the walkie talkie. "Welcome, Milo," Chris said. "How do you know my name?! What information do you know?!", Milo yelped. "Just so you know, I don't have any fear of what you might try on me. I've learned that fear can only be enforced. And enforcing things is my specialty," Jack said with a grimace. "Jack, you're freaking me out, dude," Chris said frantically. A male wearing a cut off shirt and short jeans walked off the bus. "Hey, peeps, how's it going?" Alexandria said, strutting towards Chris. "I know a lot of information in this world. Countless artifacts, locations commonly unknown, and some of the rarest species. But there's one thing that leaves me amiss. Is that a dude or a girl?" Joshua said confused. "Well, I'm a guy, but I just think that I'm more in sync with girls, they just speak to me more," Alexandria said happily. "Yup, that's Alex, but he would prefer us to call him Alexandria," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Now I know why you got made fun of so much in grade school," Raye said, walking off the bus. "Here's Raye, the only normal contestant I've seen all day," Chris satisfyingly said. "And I can see why you live alone," Raye said, embarrassing Chris. "Welp, there goes my respect for you," Chris moaned sadly. A contestant wearing a school girl's outfit exited the bus. "Konichiwa!" Kasumi blurted out, jumping around the war zone. "Judging by your exaggerated Japanese appearance, I'm guessing you are Kasumi," Chris exclaimed. "And I'm ready for what this silly show has to offer," Kasumi said with a fast clap. Chris help out his arms, preparing for the last contestant to arrive. "And here comes out final contestant; Daniel!" Daniel began lighting matches in his hand. "Yes, yes, yes, fire!" Daniel cheered. "Straight from the mental institution, eh?" Joshua said putting his index finger and thumb on his chin. "Alright, now that you've all been situated, it's time to introduce your new home for the next seven weeks," Chris said, pointing his finger at a large building. "Headquarters? What's it doing here??" Milo yelped, biting his fingers. Chris then put a finger on Milo's lips. "It's time for the host of the show to speak now, so zip it, shut it, and stuff it." Milo muted himself. "This is where a mess hall once was, but we did some rearranging, and it's now a mess hall, once again, where you will be eating your breakfast, maybe lunch, and a slim chance of dinner, all made by Chef," Chris announced, presenting Chef with a large knife in his hand. "You've already been introduced to the Total Drama bus, which could use a little touch up paint. We will be using that to travel to other insane locations whenever we have a certain challenge we can't perfect in this deserted wasteland." "Where will eliminations take place?", Arthur said, holding out a pen and notepad. Chris then pointed over to a small, rundown shed. "Would you believe a building that small was an emergency shack? It's not fun and games when you're shooting at people with weapons! But yes, that it where eliminations will take place, where you will receive survival kits." "Survival kits? We're going to die?!" Angie screamed. "No, these are the survival kits you used to find in the nurse's office in elementary school," Chris said, opening the kit. "You know, with food like stale pretzels, dry cereal, and fruit bars. Food that would make you rather die instead. "This show sucks so far, when are you just going to hand me the million?" Chelsea yelled. "I'm glad you asked Chelsea, because I'm hoping you're voted off first," Chris responded, shoving Chelsea out of the way. "Alright, first thing's first, let's establish the teams. Instead of some race or team captains, I've decided to have them preset to save time." Chris pulled out a sheet of paper. "Angie, Chastity, Daniel, Haley, Jack, Joshua, Milo, Rebecca, you're on the Screaming Survivors. Rebecca, Alexandria, Arthur, Daniel, Chelsea, Steve, Angie, Jack. And now that we have that settled, our confessional this season will an old weapon's hut shortly across from the mess hall, savvy?" Confessional, Jack: "I wouldn't be surprised if I was the last survivor on this team." Confessional, Rebecca: "My first confessional, C-O-N-F-" The camera cut Rebecca off. Confessional, Maverick: "I don't see why we need teams in the first place. I work better by myself anyways. I think that going solo is the only way a person can truly learn to become independent in life. And boy, did I learn that the hard way..." "Alright, now that that's settled, it's time for your first challenge," Chris announced. "Now, I was planning a totally awesome battle to the death, but the producers told me that I'm held responsible if any of you die. And since our budget was cut, we have no place for you guys to sleep. So, in today's challenge, you and your teammates will be building your own shelter, where you will be living for the duration of the game. You also have to make sure it is built well, because I don't want a roof falling on you in your sleep. Not because I care for your safety, but because it comes out of my pay cheque. The winner will be determined on how well the shelter is created, and the prize their new sleeping home, along with another secret gift, while the losing team will be snoozing in sleeping bags, right here in scenic nowhere. There will be tools located in an old shed east from the emergency hut. Everybody ready? Go!" The camera panned over to the Screaming Survivors. "Alright, now if everyone would lend an ear to what I have to-" Joshua said before being cut off by Angie. "Don't you think frills would make the blankets so much better?" Angie said with a giggle. Joshua hushed Angie. "If we're going to get this challenge done, we need someone with astute brain power, like me." Joshua proudly said. "Maybe we should get explosives!", Daniel chanted. "In what way would explosives help us out here, Daniel?" Chastity said, annoyed. "What's your point?" Daniel questioned Chastity. Confessional, Chastity: Chastity begins painting her nails. "Sure, I'd pretty much like to eliminate all of my so-called teammates right now, but there are some I'm saving for something special. And if I want, I could take any guy I wanted right now to do anything for me. I'm just that good." The camera panned to the Killer Corpses, pondering on how they should complete the challenge. "I'll go get so tools over at the shed," Alice proclaimed, running off. "Wait, was that Alice or Ann? Either way, they both dress adorably!" Alexandria said happily. Confessional, Chelsea: "How are we supposed to build a shelter when nobody on this team can make a sandwich?" "Well, why doesn't Steve come up with something? He's seems like an interesting character for my fanfiction," Arthur said with a smile. "Ehhh, I got nothing," Steve said looking away. "Sheesh, you might just be more anti-social then Maverick," Raye blurted out. "What's that supposed to mean?" Maverick shot back. "I'm just saying that were in danger of constantly losing in the future if we don't start working as a team," Raye said, crossing her arms. "Oh, and I should start listening to you just because you're titled as a psychic? You know what? Forget this, I'll be waiting by elimination zone if you need me," Maverick shouted, walking off. Raye sighed. "Look's like our team's gonna end up losing." The camera then panned to Milo, who was carrying a large supply of wood and tools. "Can't... go on... any... longer..." Milo panted, dropping the supplies on his feet. "Yowwwwch!" Chastity walked up to Milo and put a hand on his face. "Let's get to work, I don't want to see you getting voted off," Chastity said sweetly. "Uh... wood?" Milo questioned nervously. Confessional, Milo: "Wood? Wood? That's all I could think of?! Daniel then lit a hammer on fire. "Yes, fire, fire, fire!" Joshua then stomped on the hammer, dousing to flame. "If you going to be on this team, you're going to have to stop being such a hazard." "Alright, alright, can I at least keep the matches?" Daniel asked with a soft tone. "Very well then, I will let you keep your favorite tools of oxidation if you promise not to use them in inappropriate situations, such as this one," Joshua responded. Jack then walked over to Daniel. "Why do you let me hold on to them? I'm positive they'll be safe with me," Jack explained with a large grin. "Well, alright, but take good care of them," Daniel said, handing the matches over here. "Looks like the competitions getting heated," Jack said with a large, powerful laugh. The camera then panned over to Maverick, sitting by himself on a rock. Raye then walked up to him. "Hey," Raye simply said. "What do you want?" Maverick angrily said. "Look, I wanna apologize to you," Raye said. "I know you aren't really comfortable with the teams or teammates to begin with, but all of us are putting our faith in each other to get the challenge done and win in the end. I know you've probably gone through a lot, but if were ever going to end up happy, we're going to have to work together. Are you in?" Raye held out a hand for Maverick. Maverick then half-smiled, and walked past Raye. "Let's just win this challenge." The camera then showed the Killer Corpses beginning to saw, hammer, and set up the shelter. "We've gotta spirit, yes we do, we've got spirit, and we'll beat you!" Rebecca cheered, presenting the Screaming Survivors who have started to make progress. "Where does this go?" Angie said, holding up a hammer. "Sweetie, that's not part of it, okay?" Chastity exclaimed in a sweet, yet arrogant tone. "Oh, so I can get rid of it?" Angie asked, throwing the hammer behind her head and hitting Milo in the crotch. "Augh!" Milo shouted in pain. "It's time to quit the dawdling and start working," Joshua said, making blue prints of how to build the shelter. "Ooooh, I want to try to make the blue prints! I've seen plenty of anime, I know how these blue prints work," Kasumi said, as she began to map out the area. "Uh, Kasumi, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Milo said, scratching his head. "Relax, I've dealt with this before," Kasumi then began to draw all over the blue prints. "Finished!" Kasumi presented blue prints with a large komodo dragon on the front. Joshua then slapped his palm in his face. "What? Don't you think dragon's are kakkoi??" Kasumi said, poking at Joshua. Haley then put her arm around Joshua. "What's the plan, Stan?" "It's Joshua, and I would appreciate if you got your grimy paws off my shoulder," Joshua snapped, upsetting Haley. The teams began to work hard, and soon after, Chris stopped the challenge. "Time's up!" Chris announced. "Let's see what the Killer Corpses have." Raye then presented her team's shelter, equip with four bunk beds, a bureau with several draws, a large mirror, and a few wall paintings. "Looking good, Corpses!" Chris said. "I'd say you have a pretty solid chance of winning, but let's see what the Survivors' have to offer." Chris then walked over to the Screaming Survivors' shelter. "Hm, looks pretty nice on the outside." "It still would've looked better with a dragon..." Kasumi frustratingly said. Chris then began to turn the knob. "Let's just see what the inside looks-" suddenly, there was a large explosion. Chris then propelled backwards as the rest of the Screaming Survivors took cover. "What the..." Milo began to say. "What the devil happened?" Joshua shouted, followed by him walked over to Daniel. "I knew I shouldn't have kept those matches in your possession." "But I don't have them, Jack does," Daniel nervously said. "If I had them, then why would they be in your back pocket?" Jack said with a cheesy smile. Daniel then reached in his back pocket and found the matches. "But guys, I swear I didn't light the fire. Honest!" "All I know right now is that the Killer Corpses are the winner of the challenge," Chris said in pain, followed by a large cough. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Alexandria chanted, with the rest of the Corpses cheering in the background. "But, since I'm going to need medical support for my toasted skin, everyone's safe tonight," Chris said, being carried off by two interns. "You're lucky this time, but be warned, Daniel, this isn't the end," Joshua said as the rest of the Screaming Survivors walked off. Confessional, Daniel: Daniel began lighting paper on fire. "Sure, I love setting stuff on fire, burning stuff down, and even igniting my sister's clothes, but I'd never sabotage my team's chances of winning. I know Jack has something to do with this..." The sky then turned dark, as the Maverick leaned on the door of the Corpses' shelter. Raye then walked up to him. "Maybe this show's that you're not such a whiner after all," Raye said with a half-smile. "Shouldn't you be meditating or some crap?" Maverick snapped at her. Raye then kissed Maverick on the cheek and walked off, and Maverick gave a small, but warm smile. The camera the panned over to the Screaming Survivors. Chef then approaches them. "Here's your sleeping bags. Extra crusty, courtesy of Sargent Hatchet," Chef proudly said. "Weeee!" Kasumi squeeled, hopping around in her sleeping bag. "But there are only six sleeping bags here," Milo said confused. "Yup, everyone except Mr. Fire Hazard gets one," Chef said, pointing at a notably upset Daniel. As most of the contestants fell asleep, Daniel was left alone, secluded on a rock. Chastity approached him. "I just want to let you know that I'm sure you didn't do this," Chastity said, sitting close to Daniel. "Thanks, I'm glad to see someone believes me," Daniel said, igniting a lighter. "I just know that all of the rest are going to vote me off first." "Haven't you ever seen this show, Danny?", Chastity asked. "These people have no knowledge of playing the game. I've studied this show carefully and I know how it works. I'm not going to sit here and watch a perfectly harmless contestant get eliminated. I have my own ways of taking down the members of our team. And I know they're going happen." Chastity then hugged Daniel from behind and walked off, with an maniacal grimace on her face. Confessional, Jack: "None of these people know what I have planned for them. They may have signed up for this show, but this is my world, and I'll gladly take down anyone I can. If I go down, this whole show goes down with me." The camera then went to static as the episode ends.